Exploring the Deep

Passionately pursuing life, faith and adventure…


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to live present

Six days – that’s the marker for when the next big stage of my life will begin. For months I’ve been planning and prepping for my wedding day. I’ve had countless conversations about flowers and place settings and dresses and hair and food and chairs and venues. My head has spun from the endless possibilities for what this day could look like. I frequently find myself almost holding my breath, then I remind myself to exhale, breath in and out, relax, enjoy this season for all the craziness that it is. This is the one time I will experience this and I owe it to myself to fully embrace each wild moment.

To keep all of my thoughts straight for the big day I am making notes everywhere – my phone, scraps of paper, printed lists, an app, and a notebook. I’m not sure why I chose this particular notebook to keep my current life together. It’s one that normally sits on my bedside where I make little notes from the day – things I want to remember about an experience, conversation or a prayer. It even has a pro/con list about a house I considered buying last summer.

But this notebook also has notes about how I felt when I started dating my future husband. And it has a prayer I penned in Costa Rica last summer that was a deep cry of my heart:

“I want to live in this moment…not tomorrow or next week. Lord, help me to live now. To abide in You. To live full. Help me to be ever present in the moment, hearing your voice, sensing your presence.”

As I keep notes about my wedding in this journal I can’t help but feel that using this notebook was a divine moment to remind me about living present. To remind myself of how I felt when I first met Brian. To see, recognize and embrace each of these quickly passing moments. To live present.

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In the moment.

“When Jacob awoke from his sleep, he thought, ‘Surely the is in this place, and I was not aware of it.’” — Genesis 28:16

Oftentimes I find myself so focused on the next big thing – hoping, dreaming, thinking, planning – that it’s consuming. I’m constantly looking at the horizon for a glimpse of what is coming my way. But I’ve come to realize that I don’t want to be so focused on the next place and the next thing that I miss what’s happening in this moment. I don’t want to miss what God is teaching me right now.

My prayer is for growth, to learn, to hear Him and to be a better follower of Christ. But how much do I miss of what He’s doing right now because I’m looking to the future thinking, “I can’t wait until God does something really big in my life”? What if He’s doing something really big in my life right now and I’m missing it? What if I’m overlooking or not paying enough attention in this moment that in hindsight I realize He was doing something right then? Lord, I don’t want to miss you right now because I’m focused on the what’s to come.

What are you looking for on the horizon? Where do you see God working in your life right now? I’d love to hear your stories!