The past several weeks have been filled with highs and lows. Days that were stellar and days that were not. I’ve run hard, pushed beyond what I thought I could, was up early and out late, and have slept poorly. I have not been at peak performance mentally, physically or emotionally. As a backstory, I’ve bought and moved into a new house, camped with a large group of friends, celebrated birthdays, led major events, experienced family medical issues, worked full time, dog sat for a week and picked up a freelance copy editing job. That I’ve been busy is an understatement.

All this time I’ve continuously given myself a pep talk that I can do it. All I had to do was just make it through August. As a proper church girl, I reminded myself of the importance to stop and give thanks to God for the oomph to get through each day without collapsing.

It was early July as I was reading through the Psalms that two verses in particular caused me come to a hard stop. Psalm 50:14-15 reads, “Make thankfulness your sacrifice to God, and keep the vows you made to the Most High. Then call on me when you are in trouble, and I will rescue you, and you will give me glory.” I read it over and over: Make thankfulness your sacrifice to God. Make thankfulness your sacrifice to God. Make thankfulness your sacrifice to God.

It naturally lead to the question, have I made thankfulness my sacrifice to God? It’s not only a question of if I stop to express my gratitude to the Lord, but if it reaches the level of being sacrificial in its expression. I found it convicting that just before these verses, God tells us that He is pleased with the offerings that are being presented to Him (vs. 7-13). But they are offerings of things that are already His; they are things that He has given to us so that we can give back to Him. But what He really wants to receive as a sacrifice is us. When it comes to gratitude, it’s not about our actions; it’s about our heart.

“Make thankfulness your sacrifice to God, and keep the vows you made to the Most High.” To be transparent, my thankfulness wasn’t at that level. The time or effort it took to express my gratitude was not lengthy or deep or difficult. I’m not positive it’s much better now, nearly two months later, but my heart is tender and attentive to move toward sacrificial gratitude.

I absolutely love what comes next in this passage: a promise of God’s deep love for us. “Then call on me when you are in trouble, and I will rescue you, and you will give me glory.” His care for us, however, is sandwiched between our call to express our heart to Him. As we sacrifice thanksgiving to Him, He will help us in our difficult moments. It is then our turn to again offer Him praise and the glory He deserves.

The big question I am forced to ask myself as I read this passage and write this post with fresh eyes and a fresh experience of calling on God during this difficult season is, have I truly expressed my thankfulness as a sacrifice to God? I’ll be pondering this question for weeks to come and would love to hear your experiences.